Where's a UFO when you need one?

Saturday, October 18, 2008
Where's a UFO when you need one?

Ok, that's it. I'm giving up on humanity. You can all roll about in your own mess down here, but I'm off to try and arrange an abduction. A lifetime of anal probing (who isn't fond of a spot of gentle anal probing after all) in an alien zoo will be preferable to dealing with the consequences of the choices made by the cretanous masses down here.

Take, for example, the thoughts (and I use the term quite loosely), reported in the Guardian, of this young Austrian girl when asked about the fragrant Joerg Haider:

"Some say he was criminal because he was drunk, but that's an insult," says Christa, a 17-year-old who was among the country's new young voters (the voting age is 16), who gave her support to Haider's BZO in elections two weeks ago. "He did so much for everyone."

Does she think he belittled national socialism? "Well, I don't really know what that is," she replies. "If you mean, was he right to lock up foreigners, yes, because people with a criminal tendency have no place here."

Where to begin with that little collection of ignorance and contradiction?

And it's not like we just have isolated populations of people utterly unable to rationally assess concepts that we could identify and target with crash courses in critical thinking (and yes, I realise that that thought is vaguely fascist in itself, but that's allowed in a light hearted tirade). The vast majority of the human population would quite probably answer the rhetorical question posed above with a blank stare and/or a rant about 'them immigrants'.

Still, unless the rest of Europe does a volte face on the 20th century, I should be fairly safe from invasion here in Germany.

Addendum

At first I was puzzled as to what the similarities between Haider and Diana were, but when you think about it they are quite startling: both were self-seeking publicity whores; both died in drunken car crashes; both of said crashes led to daft, and expensive, conspiracy theories (although Diana's is far superior - the Duke of Edinburgh is much more imaginative than that old conspiracy warhorse, the Jews); and both fucked slightly swarthy people.

Actually reading that last paragraph back, it has suddenly become clear to me - The Duke of Edinburgh killed Joerg Haider. Just wait until Christa (17) finds out about this...